From the moment we enter this world, we are learning. As children, our fresh minds soak up everything—sounds, sights, textures, and tastes—building our understanding of life day by day.

As we grow, we start curating our world. We choose our favorite foods, our style, our music, and our worldviews. Year after year, we reinforce these choices until they form a solid shield of identity and belief.

And then, the inevitable happens: we meet someone who challenges it all.

When someone disagrees with something core to our thinking, it stings. We feel attacked. We think, “They don’t know me. They don’t know what I’ve been through.” Instinct kicks in, telling us to shut down, build a wall, and walk away.

But what if they’re right?

Stepping past your ego to acknowledge that someone else might have a better perspective is one of the hardest things a person can do. To keep growing, we have to practice the art of emptying ourselves.

What Does It Mean to “Empty Yourself”?

It means clearing out your preconceived notions before a conversation begins. Too often, every word spoken to us is judged, labeled, and dismissed before it fully registers in our mind.

When another person opens up—even if they are correcting us or challenging us—they are giving us a gift. It takes courage to share intimate thoughts or uncomfortable truths. When we respond with a mind already full of our own opinions, it’s like asking them to pour their heart out into a brick wall.

How to Practice Present Listening

True emptiness isn’t passive; it takes active effort and stillness:

1. Be Fully Present: Put down your phone, pause your work, and give the person your undivided eye contact.
2. Catch Your Mind Wandering: The moment you catch yourself thinking “I already know this” or reacting defensively to an emotion, pause. Gently pull your focus back to their voice.
3. Drop the Draft: Stop formulating your reply while they are still talking. You don’t need to fix the problem, offer advice, or prove a point. Just listen.

Everyone wants to be heard. The difficult part is having the humility to be the person who truly listens. Letting go of your ego to make room for another person’s story—that is the true heart of real communication.

E. Luna