I’m sure everyone has their own way of doing things and feels immense pride in what they’ve accomplished. The effort to learn or master a skill is something only the person who put in the time and work can truly understand. We feel proud of that effort, and as we practice our craft, we gain confidence and feel better about ourselves.

But then it happens. Someone makes a comment about the very thing you’ve worked so hard on for so many years. And the feedback isn’t reassuring; it questions your ability and makes you start to doubt yourself.

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The Gut Reaction

That feedback, no matter how well-intended, can feel like a punch to the gut. The comment questions your ability, and suddenly, you’re not so confident anymore. It’s easy to feel like it’s a personal attack.

Then your emotions take over, and you might experience the following:

• You become defensive. You immediately try to find reasons to justify what you did, to prove that you are right and they are wrong.
• You question their credibility. You get angry and question their knowledge and experience.
• You doubt your abilities. You might even start doubting everything you’ve learned, regretting all the time you invested and questioning if you did the right thing.

If you allow those emotions to take over, you’ll start questioning and overthinking everything you do—and that’s not a good place to be.

Instead of taking that path of uncertainty,

why not take a few moments to analyze the feedback and truly learn from it?

Receiving constructive feedback is difficult, especially if the feedback is delivered without a real explanation.

But as you calm yourself and truly think about what you did, and empathize with the person who provided the feedback, you can start to understand their experience. This allows you to grow and become better at what you do, instead of heading down a path of self-doubt.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are not the center of the universe. We might be challenged on how we think things should be. As we learn to manage our ego and truly think about others when providing a service, we’ll find that our way of doing things will be questioned many times. We need to learn that most of the time, this isn’t a personal attack. It’s just that at that moment, the service wasn’t to their satisfaction.

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A Better Path Forward

When you receive feedback, try this simple process:

• Listen. Don’t interrupt or get defensive. Just listen to the message.
• Evaluate. Consider the feedback objectively. Is there a grain of truth in what they’re saying?
• Decide. Determine what you can learn from this experience.
• Adjust. Make a change based on your new understanding.
• Try a new approach. Implement what you’ve learned and move forward.

When we allow ourselves to change, we open up the opportunity to grow and become better. So embrace feedback as something constructive. Even though it might not feel good at the time, it will be a good thing in the future.

E.Luna