What are emotions, really?

The textbook definition describes them as complex psychological states—physical and mental reactions to events or situations that we experience. They are tied to our feelings, moods and behavior and for each of us, they are deeply personal. No two people experience life, or their emotions, in the same way.

Unfortunately, it’s all too common for people to judge or criticize us when we are brave enough to open up and be vulnerable. When someone minimizes what you’re feeling, it can make you question yourself. You might even start to think something is wrong with you for feeling the way you do.

Have you ever heard someone say,

“You’re drowning in a glass of water?”

They might say this when you’re expressing an emotion that feels overwhelming. But what they don’t understand is that for you, that “glass of water” feels more like a vast, terrifying ocean. The person minimizing your feelings hasn’t shared your exact experience, and they have not endured the same emotional storm you are navigating.

The Role of True Empathy

True empathy isn’t just about listening; it’s about making a genuine effort to understand another person’s perspective. It’s about trying to put yourself in their shoes and understand what it’s like to be in their “ocean of emotions.” As you listen and learn about the experiences that led them there, you’ll discover that your role isn’t to give solutions or to minimize their feelings. Instead, it’s about joining them in that emotional ocean and helping them find their way to shore.

Given our complexity as humans, we can’t fully know what others feel. But we can make a concerted effort to listen and empathize with someone who is going through a tough time.

The next time someone opens up to you emotionally, consider it a precious gift. That act of vulnerability is a sign of ultimate trust.

Cherish it. You might find that the most impactful thing you can do is simply to listen.

E. Luna