It was around 2015 when I decided to make a change in my career, and as a look back, it was a change that was driven by feelings that were more influenced by external factors that were not necessarily the best ones for me.

I am talking about taking a job at a different company.

I was happy at the company where I had been working for about ten years as a Quality Manager. A role which had been challenging but very satisfying.

However, I felt the need to move into the next level and worked hard to get a promotion which meant more money for my family and I.

At that point of my life I started to focus on having more money and not seeing or appreciating what I had, veering off the path somewhat.

This need for more money was driven by actions in my recent past where I was spending more and more to make myself and others much happier. I started to think that more money would truly improve my overall happiness.

As I moved from a steady, bigger company to a smaller one which paid more, I started to experience other challenges.

At my prior company I established a team vision and seemed to have support and buy-in from leadership. That allowed me to get the resources I needed to materialize that vision.

The years working to develop and implement were hard, but worth every moment that I had invested.

I started to reap the benefits of that investment.

When I moved to the smaller company, I had the same vision, however the resources and culture were different.

My staff was much smaller and the budget to do certain things was tight, so I had to find a way to make it work.

Slowly but surely I started to develop and try to change the culture, but the instability of the company would not allow me to get momentum and truly make changes that would add value.

I was earning more, however the future did not look as bright and everyday was a struggle.

The mood in the company was negative and I struggled to get motivated to do anything, there was resistance to any change that would make the company better.

From being a  very positive and energetic person, I found myself constantly in a bad mood and searching for answers.

Everything I did seemed to get negative feedback and every day I lost more confidence in what I was doing and in everything I thought about life.

“Nothing I did was enough in my eyes.“

I started to notice that I was changing and didn’t like who I was becoming.

I let external influences direct my life and I was looking for happiness in external things.

As I went through this autopilot mode, I often had thoughts that there must be something I could do to change the path I was taking.

I was unmotivated and did not know how to get out of it, daily life had me on autopilot.

Then one day I decided to do something simple and started to Google motivational videos, just something to get me out of this slump.

A few of them popped up and as I clicked and tried to decide which one to watch, one caught my attention.

I started to view it, and I felt a little something, kind of a spark.

Then I clicked on another, and every time I viewed another, I felt a little better of what the possibility could be.

In those videos there were a few books that were mentioned, so I started to research and bought a few of them and started to read and learn about techniques to get out of my slump.

I call it a slump because I was not like this and I was finding myself in an unfamiliar place that I did not like.

And as I searched for more nourishing material in videos and books, I found myself motivated, feeling more confident by the day.

Then as I started to gain momentum,

“I got fired from my job.“

This was my first experience with being fired and unemployed, even though as I look back, the signs were there, I did not see it coming.

My boss, the guy who had hired me, had left the company, a new boss took his place and a few months after that I was out.

Anyway that event was a true blessing, because of that I was forced to face my biggest fear, which was the fear of losing the love of my family.

As the main provider, I had put so much pressure on myself and felt that I was a failure when I could not provide more material things to my family. Even though we had everything it still felt that we needed more.

When I made the decision to spend more and more and try to keep up with others I found myself going deeper into debt, making decisions that were all related to getting more money and not being able to crawl out of that hole, creating a vicious circle.

But when I lost my job, I did not hesitate and  told my family, they all looked at me and said “Everything will be Ok” no one panicked, at least not to my face. And they said they would help anyway they could.

That was a period of about four months with no main income, we found other ways of making money such as Uber or selling stuff.

But those four months were filled with so much love and support, I felt so lucky to have so many wonderful people around me, life kept moving forward and we were surviving and happy.

I had made the mistake to believe that what gave me value was the amount of material things I was providing and that was the only thing that would make others love me. 

But that event, of me not being able to provide for some time, made me realize that it was me who they truly loved.

As I started to be honest to myself and going back to the person I truly was, I started to gain more confidence and started to let go more.

At that point it was clear that I had to be honest to myself and go back to my roots.

And as I kept searching and searching for books and videos I saw that all of this that I had been searching for, had always been with me. I just forgot to look back to what made me feel supported and happy. And as I went back to my fundamental self, I found that the scriptures contained in the Bible were the ones that guided me up to this point in my life and I had just wandered away from them.

All those teachings that I had learned since I was a kid and were buried deep inside me, started to come out and make more sense. I started to see the connections between scriptures and what I was experiencing in the real world and started to feel again that I was not alone. And as a human that gets lost in the world and starts believing that you are alone and need to resolve all your issues by yourself, you have to learn to let go and acknowledge that we need help and that whatever happens, you have someone that will lift you up.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door for God to be present, in my case it was through my family. I was forced to show my vulnerability that I had been masking for so long. It was very uncomfortable, but my family embraced me when I was feeling down.

“Well at least that is my experience.“

We will be faced with many challenges in life and sometimes it will feel like there is no way out, however we need to keep searching for something to help us regain that confidence and faith. In my case even though I was desperate I still had faith and asked God for help, and I received it through different methods.

At the end everything I was experiencing was contained inside of that great book “The Bible”, I highly recommend getting to know more about yourself and use the bible as a guide.

There are so many gems within these words that will allow you to live a good and joyful life.

E. Luna