All of us humans, we have certain things that make us unique and different from each other and we try our best to navigate through life using what we learned.

And learning is a process of trying different things and evaluating if what we did gives us the results that fulfill our desires or needs. And during that process it will be common for us to fail not just once, maybe several times.

And when you fail,

Are you one of the persons that judges themselves so harshly that you eliminate the desire to try again?

It turns out that we tend to judge ourselves so harshly that we sometimes use all our energy to try to put out that spark that drives us to do something different or new.

And yes it’s very hard to not judge yourself specially when it might be that when you fail someone else criticizes you and you go through those uncomfortable emotions.

We tend to say:

“I vow not to try so I don’t make that mistake again’”

 And we use reasons to justify ourselves like:

“ I don’t want to get hurt again”

“I don’t want to give them the satisfaction’”

 ” I don’t want them to laugh at me” 

“I don’t want to lose something”

 and like these there are many more reasons.

Now if you pay attention to all the reasons, most of them are negative context of “I don’t want” when the reality in life is that everything you don’t want to happen, will probably happen at one point in time.

So instead of creating and developing that harsh judge that lives within you, start nurturing that  being that lives within you and that is strong enough to be able to manage any external influences and learn from them instead of having them hurt you.

Make your reasons to try of a positive nature:

“I want to find whatever you are searching for.”

“I want to follow my dreams”

“I want to grow as a person”

“I want to feel alive”

And if at first, it does not  work out, and you have made a mistake, learn to let go, forgive yourself and give yourself another opportunity to do better next time.

Do not let your inner judge put you in your mental jail where you are unwilling to do anything.

Remember that any external opinions are just that, an opinion, no one can tell you want you can or can’t feel or do.

So practice being a merciful to you and give yourself as many opportunities to succeed as possible without worrying what others or you think about yourself.

It is better to have the certainty that you tried and maybe failed instead of the uncertainty of not knowing what could have been.

E. Luna