Written by Edgar Luna

Every one of us has a way of thinking and we tend to think that the way we do things is the correct way of doing them.

I remember when I got married and started to share my life with my wife and started to see that even though we had many things in common, we also did things very differently. The little things that you normally don’t think about, but you notice once someone does them differently or questions why you do them a certain way.

Such things as:

• Making your bed.
• Washing dishes.
• Which route to take when going somewhere.
• How and where to spend money.
• And many other things.

And as you spend more time with certain persons, like spouses, children, roommates, you notice these things and get certain feelings regarding how other people do certain things.

Some get very frustrated when things are not done the way they think it should be done. And even though they might have a very good reason to think that way, we have to be conscious that everyone is different.

And even though a person who is close to you has lived with you since they were babies, it does not change the fact that they are different and have a different way of approaching an issue.

Some people deal with issues by thinking, planning, moving thing around until having certainty that everything has been thought of and every risk mitigated

Others take it easy and even though they have a plan, they do not stress too much about it, but they have things covered.

Now the issue escalates when these two different ways of thinking collide and one of them tries to impose their way of thinking. What happens then is that frustration starts to build and communication shuts down. And the more one tries to impose their will the more that the other person shots down.

When this happens we need to try to be mindful and reflect on ourselves and think about why it is important for us to impose our way of thinking.

Maybe that has worked for us and made us happy and we want to share, or maybe we had a painful experience and don’t want someone else to experience pain. Whatever the reason, we need to be smart on how to approach the subject.

• Ask questions and learn the other person’s perspective.
• Take a moment to listen and empathize with what this person shared.
• Respectfully communicate how you would approach the issue and how you would resolve.

Telling someone how to resolve an issue does not help the situation and prevents that person from gaining confidence on resolving issues on their own.

A big part of growing up is allowing others to face issues and resolve them as best they can, and you might be surprised when you empower someone with the freedom to face their issues head on, even if you do not agree with the way they resolved them.

Every head is a “Different World” and allowing someone else to be unique and different, allows you to keep your peace and provide that boost of confidence that you believe in that person.

E. Luna