Written by Edgar Luna

Being a father of three beautiful children, I always think of them and feel that pride and love for each one, and I am very grateful for having the opportunity to be part of their lives. With this said, it comes to my mind that their independence and strength to do things by themselves entails a great strength from parents to let go, encourage and motivate them to be free human beings capable of navigating through the world. And sometimes, as with everything, you question whether you are doing the right thing, and in those moments I go back to this.

There is a passage in the  bible that I have read and heard all my life, which helps me reaffirm how I feel about this.

John 2 3:5

“And when the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him: “They have no wine”, Jesus said to her: “Woman why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come”. His mother told those who served:  “Do everything he tells you.”

That passage, being so small, carries so much power and gives us a beautiful and true message. When I read it, I feel that it is such an important event because in just a few moments and with very few words, it marks the beginning of something enormous that changes everything.

I imagine that we all know who Jesus is and his impact on humanity and with this we see that his mother tells him:

  “They have no wine“

With just three words the mother asks her son to get involved and help in a complicated situation for the party organizers and the son takes those words as a request from her mother.

Jesus answers her:

“Woman, why do you involve me?”

He knows that she is asking her for help, but she doesn’t give him the solution, he doesn’t say how to solve the problem. She leaves everything in the hands of his son.

At that moment I tried to put myself in Jesus’ shoes and understand what was going through his mind.

What was he doing before his mother came to ask him for help?

Did she expect him to perform a miracle or maybe she just wanted her to help find a solution?

As he responds  with:

  “My hour has not yet come”

Maybe at that moment he didn’t feel ready to do something that he knew would change everything. Because, as we know, the result of his actions that night of transforming water into wine would trigger the start of a great change in the world.

But also maybe with these words perhaps he was saying that he was not prepared, perhaps for many good reasons or like every human being there was some uncertainty or doubt about what was to come.

When would that hour come?

Why would he say it wasn’t his time?

And then the mother with all certainty said:

“Do everything he tells you.“

With that phrase, the mother, without addressing Jesus again directly, gave him permission to begin his work. At that moment she gave him that little push,  the confidence that it was time to start his work, to go ahead and change humanity.

With those words she empowers him and  tells her son that she is prepared to let him go, although it was a difficult and very strong action by her, because from that night on, everything would change, and after this, she will not have the physical company of his son as she had enjoyed up to that moment.

At the same time, she is reaffirming to everyone to  pay attention to what he says, not only at that moment, but going forward, even though she knows exactly what the outcome would be, she lets him go and encourages him by believing and always being there when he needed her support, never asking him to quit when things got difficult, and we know they really got difficult for him.

How many times as parents, we tend to instill fear and limits in our children, instead of encouraging and believing in them. Maybe we are trying to  “protect” them from the difficulties of the  world by keeping them close to us and giving them everything, robbing them of their confidence and independence, being that our job should be about nurturing their confidence and knowing how to let them go so that they can also contribute to this world. Allowing them to gain experience and make mistakes, which is an essential part of growth.

Maybe we have that resistance to letting go because of our own insecurities and we unconsciously  pass those fears to them by not trusting that they are capable of doing great things.

However, we should ask ourselves the real reason why we hold our children back and why we have a hard time pushing them forward.

Just as in this passage, Jesus was not ready because according to him “his hour had not yet come”, however, his mother without hesitation and with all the strength, certainty and love, did what was necessary to encourage him and let him go, giving us a great lesson of strength and love.

Life is not easy and has many challenges, but shielding children from the realities of life may be a selfish act on our part and in my opinion true love is preparing and supporting them so that they can go and be independent and can overcome any challenge that life throws their way.

They may not feel prepared, and that is okay, even Jesus shows us that he was not prepared, but with a little push from his mother, he felt supported and that it is very powerful to feel supported by a loved one and to have as a parent “ the strength to let go”.

E.Luna