Written by Edgar Luna

.

So you are a human being searching for something in your life, maybe you are aware and know who you are and what you want or maybe you are not so sure and you are searching for that certainty in life, which is OK.

Whoever and wherever you are you have your beliefs and there is a good chance that there will be occasions where you interact with someone that does not agree with your perspective on something. That interaction could happen anywhere, maybe at home, work, during your leisure time or as you are minding your own business someone might approach you wanting to share their point of view.

And it could be related to anything you can think of, might be religion, politics, relationships, sports teams or any other polarizing topic that you can imagine.

Then next thing you know, a discussion has started about an issue and there is something said that creates some type of misunderstanding and then things start to heat up and tempers start to flare.

And depending how passionate each party is about defending their perspective, this can become a very uncomfortable exchange.

Once you get to a state of mind where everything the other person says feels like an attack towards you, even if it’s not the intent, it becomes a dangerous action where the message can become much more distorted and cause more harm.

How many times have you been in an argument where a person starts using information that is not even related to the topic in order to get you to lose focus of your objective and get you to a state of mind that is driven only by pure emotion and reaction?

When this happens you have to be aware and learn how to identify and weather the emotional storm that will likely start building up in you and do your best to breathe, stay calm and  focused on the objective.

If you allow yourself to be overtaken by emotion and both parties are driven only by emotional responses, the issue might escalate quickly and potentially have serious consequences.

Trying to weather this emotional storm can be a difficult process, but it’s not impossible.

As with everything in life, storms will pass, you just need to stay focused and make an effort to stay calm and not react immediately to what is being said to you.

• Try not to take the feedback personally and try to empathize with the person and truly make an effort to understand why the person is upset.
• Maybe the other person is having a bad day or is going through some difficulty and feels misunderstood. Be aware of your feelings, breathe and choose to let them vent for a bit and listen to them.
• Make the issue about what it is, avoid saying anything that makes it personal or that minimizes their feelings. We are all different and something that might be small to you might be very important to the other person.
• Whatever happens try to keep your composure and do not let emotion overtake you.
• Take time to focus and maybe let the other person vent and get those feelings out. If the person really is interested in resolving the issue, and clear up the misunderstanding, then you might have a chance to discuss it productively.
• If the person seems to make it about only venting and attacking you until you reach that same state of emotion as them, you can offer them to step away for a few minutes, take a break then come back to the discussion with a clearer mind.

The goal is to resolve the issue and keeping your cool is key to moving forward. When you are dealing with emotions it becomes a complex situation, however with focus and patience you will be able to become successful  and maybe help someone else and yourself in the process.

E. Luna