Written by Edgar Luna

Well you finally got the courage to do something that is significant to you, something that is new, scary, unfamiliar, that brings a lot of uncertainty into your life. You might have started the process of preparing yourself mentally and setting positive expectations based on your courageous decision to move forward and take that huge step.

Then you muster up enough courage and determination to finally take that step towards doing that thing that makes you very uncomfortable and you end up doing it.

It might be:

• Walking to someone you like and starting a conversation with them.
• It might be applying for a job and going for your first interview.
• Trying out for a sports team or trying to join an established group.
• It might be something more impactful like moving to another city.
• Starting a business venture.
• Deciding to share your life with your partner and making it official.

Whatever that action is, your likely expectation would be to be accepted and everything to go well.

But what happens when things do not go as expected?

• The person you approached does not have similar feelings towards you.
• That the job you interviewed for with such enthusiasm was not offered to you.
• The team or group did not choose you.
• That the place you moved to, turns out to not be the best fit for you.
• The business you started is not giving you results.
• Your relationship does not work out and your partner decides to end it.

As humans you might feel disappointed, that feeling of being rejected and not good enough , we tend to make everything about us and try to reason what we did wrong, maybe thinking that the thing we wanted will make us better, more valuable, a better version of you .

If you are not mindful of your feelings, they might turn into anger towards yourselves and the people around you, maybe blaming everyone and trying to find that answer to the question WHY?

If you dwell to much in finding the answer, you might end up being angry all the time and unhappy,  anger is a feeling that is very powerful and could be harmful if channeled incorrectly.

If the outcome of that action that took you so much effort and courage to do, does not turn out as you expected, you might need to see in from another perspective, that you don’t only see the “negative” outcome for you.

Yes, rejection hurts and generates many feelings that tap into your insecurities, but you have to learn to acknowledge those uncomfortable feelings and choose how to react to those feelings in a healthy manner.

Whenever you feel rejected, allow some time to feel, acknowledge and try not to make decisions and take action when you are in that state of mind. Maybe step back, take a walk, meditate, pray and get yourself in a state of mind that is calm.

“That rejection does not define the value of who you are, it was just something that was not for you at that moment in time.”

News flash, things will not always work out the way you want or expect , you are allowed to fail and not get everything you desire. Its OK if you get rejected it will happen, however the beauty of this is that there are so many opportunities in this world and you can take this experience to learn from it. Maybe approaching your future ventures with more experience and knowledge.

So whatever your feelings are about not meeting your expectations, take some time and think about what you learned from your experience.

That is the only way you will get much better at whatever you do in life.

So change your mindset and language to think about it not as a rejection instead take it as another opportunity to:

• Start a conversation with others.
• Interview for another job.
• Try out for another team or join another group.
• Find your perfect place to live in.
• Build another profitable business.
• Meet someone else or take time to be with yourself.

The difference is that the next time you do something you will only have more experience and will be more certain and confident when you decide to take action.

There are many opportunities in life so you just need to let go and search for things that are meant for you.

E. Luna