Written by Edgar Luna

In this current world we live in, we are conditioned that in order to be “successful” we need to strive to be better every day, to do more with less, getting results at whatever cost . With that said, it is common to see people that try to motivate others or themselves by putting someone or themselves down, using it as a mechanism to train your brain that no matter how well you do something, it’s not good enough, and saying to themselves “you can always do better”.

Now this strategy or conditioning can become a habit, regardless of what the result of your effort is , you make it a habit to minimize the result and consistently putting yourself down in order to try to push yourself to be better. And after some time of talking down to yourself , that habit of constantly judging and saying to yourself that you are not good enough, might start taking a toll on your self image.

Maybe it’s the way you physically look, maybe it’s the way you think , maybe the way you act, maybe many other things you do that you condition yourself to say that they are not good enough. And as you consistently train your brain that you are not good enough, that marvelous machine that controls everything in your body, might start believing it.

That can become a vicious circle of never pleasing and only putting yourself down . No wonder we suffer of a lack of self esteem. If we constantly are telling ourselves we are not good enough, we tend to be the biggest critics to ourselves and that is very damaging. And yes there are external factors or persons that might start or contribute to the process , but you are the only one that has control over your response to those factors.

So where do you go from here?

“Start by being a little bit nicer to yourself.”

Telling yourself nice things every single day. Even if it seems so simple, it works if you do it consistently. Instead of only pointing out your perceived flaws every moment, find those things that you like and do well and celebrate them, even if you think they are not worthy, “they are” .

Be grateful for what you have and what you don’t have. We are all different and have different looks, thoughts, desires, etc.

So make those differences, those things that make you special and beautiful “shine”.

Keep yourself busy with productive things, do not allow your mind to wander into uncertainty and always questioning if you are good enough.

You might ask, but what will people think?

You should not care what other people think. As long as you are respectful of others and you are not hurting anyone. Keep being nice to yourself. If you don’t start with you,

How can you expect to receive it from others?

The more energy you invest in being nice to yourself, the more comfortable you will feel with you, ”make it a habit”.

As you learn more that you are special and accept who you are and use that to get better without putting yourself down, you will get that confidence that makes anyone attractive.

So try it and find those moments where you tell yourself that you are beautiful and start building of that, focus on the simple things:

• Gratitude: Start everyday by giving thanks for something that you are grateful for. Even if it’s small, just be genuinely grateful.
• Affirmations: Tell yourself one or several affirmations , search yourself and find those things that you do well or are trying to do well and acknowledge them.
• Do something to mentally feel better: Read or listen to something that positively motivates you. Maybe pray, meditate, find a podcast or an article that nourishes your mind in a constructive way.
• Do something to physically feel better : Maybe as easy as a five minute stretching routine, a walk, jog, push ups, anything that gets your blood pumping a little more will help you feel more energy.
• Smile more: This is something that is often overlooked but has so much power. Once you start getting used to a sincere smile you will see how disarming that smile is. It opens up the possibility of giving positive energy to someone. And when someone smiles back sincerely it’s like a big boost of energy.
• Let it go: You are human and you will make many mistakes, learn from them and let them go. Do not waste time re-living something that is in the past.

There are many challenges in the environment we live in, and that trying to be noticed and acknowledged is hard, especially with some of the standards that are out there.

However I firmly believe that the more energy you invest in being nice to yourself, it will start to make a big difference. And yes you will run into those people that might try to bring you down for whatever reason, however keep working on your “self esteem” muscle, that will only get stronger with more repetitions, and that is by making it a habit of “being nice to yourself”.

E. Luna